Scanxiety

Well, its scanxiety time!! That's what we call the anxiety that comes with upcoming scans!! The feeling is horrific.  Let me give you a little glimpse of what it is like coming in for scans.  First, you drive up to this hospital and cringe.  We are back... back to this place that is very last place on the places I would ever want to go to.  UGH!!! Then we go to the waiting room and wait!  Wait! Wait! Wait!  Inside you feel like you want to explode from anxiety.  Then the coffee lady volunteers come in, and offer coffee to all the fellow patrons who are all freaking out on the inside.  Hoards of people go in for the coffee....but not me.  I keep waiting.  I wait for the Xanax and Vodka cart to come by so that my anxiety can be relieved, but it never comes!!  Just kidding....but it would be nice to be sedated until tomorrow afternoon when they deliver results.  Then all the anxious people inhale their caffeine, and that anxious energy is quadrupled.  People start yapping about their ailments, and how horrible of a time they are having.  The people in the waiting rooms are very nice and caring, and can directly relate to what you are going through.  You listen to about 30 conversations at once, and think to yourself how we even got to this point!! We are typically the youngest couple, and get multiple stares from people thinking the same thing.... WHAT ARE THEY DOING HERE!!!!!!!!!  Then Bennie goes back for his scans, and I try and do something on my laptop but usually its unproductive because I can't think straight like right now!!! Then we leave, and we go home and try and occupy our time and thoughts with something other than what the impending results will be. 

The next day we go back for results.  This visit is typically worse anxiety than the day before.  We continue waiting until someone comes into the room and delivers whatever news!  I am praying so hard right now  that everything is still alright.    But it is the first scan he's had since being on the decreased dosage for over 2 months.... so obviously we are scared.   I will let everyone know tomorrow what the news is..............